Dead Stars – TOUR TIPS

This new set of Tour Tips was written by the alternative rock band, Dead Stars. You can check out their tips for being on the road, after the break.

After weeks on the road & days of inter-band discussion, we here at the Dead Stars/Sharkmuffin Summer Bummer Tour Command Center have amassed a list of 3,427,892 tips for touring bands. Upon hearing the parameters of the official assignment, we attempted to compile the most important and useful life-or-death road rules. The process almost killed each band and one (if not both) may be in the market for new guitarists, rhythm sections, and/or front persons. What follows is our (Abridged) Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy for Bands on the Road…

891. Having a sleeping bag is useful for floor and outdoor crashing.
3. Waffle House.
2. Always keep one person sober to drive the van.
2,866,114. Be nice and helpful and other bands/people will be nice and helpful back.
1,006. Baby wipes.
77,844. Bring a travel pillow. You never know where you are going to sleep.
4,999. Sleep whenever and wherever you can.
10. Drink a ton of water. In fact, besides alcohol, drink only water the entire tour. Never be without it. Hydration is king.
9,999. If you’re the one doing a lot of the driving, bring comfortable clothes to wear while you’re behind the wheel. It makes a huge difference
6. Travel light as possible. This tour I brought 1 pair of pants.
3,289. To ensure you have a packed house ALWAYS have a comedy open mic before you play.
2,978. Make sure at least one show is in front of your entire extended family and all your old high school buddies that freak you out.
7. Keep a Natalie in the van at all times when driving.
1,345,896. Always– wait. No. Never take more drugs than you think you’ll need.
69,555. Don’t call people on the phone for anything.
3,292,444. Tubing is physically exhausting.
752. If possible, stay with friends who have pets that remind you of home.
5. Watch out for dog crap.
87. If daddy ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy, so keep daddy happy so there’s no car crash. :)
234,234. Read ghost stories to one another so that you’re too scared to sleep alone. You’ll actually be happy to sleep three to a bed.
1. SNACKS.
4. Watch out for BEKs.
236. Bring a mini lint roller.
237. Lint rollers are for wusses, Nat.
795,016. Don’t brush your hair, but
795,017. You can blow dry it if you’re the front woman/man…
30. Dryer sheets keep your clothes smelling fresh for the first couple of days.
1,996. Don’t order the lemonade at the Ponchatoula, LA Waffle House.
66,093. Heed the advice of the waitress.
9. Get the Waze app Jeff has that lets you know where the cops are.
78,327. If you see a guy with a tattoo on his arm of a mushroom that looks like a dick, grab the gear and run.

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