Ablebody – CRAZY TOUR STORIES

In this Crazy Tour Stories segment, Christoph Hochheim of the indie pop duo, Ablebody, talks about one of his crazy moments from touring. You can check out the feature, after the break.

Back in 2009, my old band played Glasgow at the now defunct Captain’s Rest. The opening act was a group fronted by two very charming identical twin brothers who happily took it upon themselves to make sure we had a memorable evening fueled with copious amounts of every Glaswegian teenager’s favorite beverage: Buckfast. For those unfamiliar, Buckfast is fortified wine spiked with caffeine; it’s cheap, strong and somewhat appropriately linked with “ned” culture, the Scottish equivalent of a “chav” or “bro” with more criminal implications.

The night got blurry fairly early on but the Buckfast bottles kept flowing and I wasn’t about to refuse the hospitality of our party-hearty friends. I know we made it to a bar nearby where we found a booth and discreetly passed around drinks under the table. I have a vague memory of someone bringing out a bottle of Jack and handing it to me but the rest of the night is a complete blank until the next morning.

I woke up in a bed in a darkened room with no recollection of where I was or how I got there. I passed out with my contacts still in so they were dry and clouded my vision, making it impossible to decipher where I was. I looked over the side of the bed and saw a small empty planter perched optimistically near my head with the hope of catching my vomit but of course I didn’t make it. I looked down and realized I was dressed in someone else’s clothing. My pants were incredibly loose fitting pleated khakis and my hooded jacket was now missing it’s hood, dangling by a thread from the neck of the opening.

It was at this moment that I realized I wasn’t alone. Someone was breathing heavily behind me. I looked down and saw some hands draped around my waist. I was too scared to move so I laid there silently until the grip loosened enough for me to wiggle free and see who was so lovingly cradling me in their arms. I looked down at an unfamiliar man in his boxers, snoring loudly seemingly unfazed by my rustling. A million thoughts flooded my brain but mainly “WTF” kept circling as I desperately tried to piece together the events of the night. Suddenly my contacts adjusted and I realized I was sharing a bed with one of the twins from the opening band. My anxiety shifted from who is this loving stranger and what did I do to garner this affection to how the hell am I going to get all this vomit off his sheets. I went to the bathroom and saw our gear in the hallway and immediately felt assured that I simply crashed at a very generous guy’s apartment who in a drunken haze mistook me for his girlfriend.

I spent the rest of the day curled up in fetal position in the back of the van, taking every rest stop as an opportunity to throw up until I passed out again from exhaustion. I played the show that evening in the same oversized pleated pants our host generously donated. I haven’t had Buckfast since.

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(Photo credit: Michael Delaney)