Anton Kellner and the Lone Stars – CRAZY TOUR STORIES

This crazy story from the road was written by Anton Kellner, vocalist of indie band, Anton Kellner and the Lone Stars. You can check out his story, after the break.

We went on tour, in the fall, with a band called Abel. There was a little “tour game” that we had made up, we called it “Buffalo”. Its pretty much a game where if you are holding an item (particularly a liquid) in your right hand, and someone yells “buffalo”, you have to chug it. However if you are holding an item in your left & right hand, and someone yells “buffalo”, the person who yelled it has to drink whatever is in your left hand. Hopefully I am making sense with this story (haha).

So, we were at a venue somewhere in Pennsylvania (I believe), and I was calling “buffalo” on everyone, and making them drink their beverages that they where trying to savor. They obviously where getting incredibly irritated at me, so karma had come to collect. About twenty minutes before we had to go on stage, my “winning” attitude convinced me to call “buffalo” on my drummer. Turned out he had a 14 oz container of French’s Classic Mustard. Everyone knew he had it the entire time. I was being set up!

I’m pretty sure you are going to figure out what happens next….yep you are correct. I ended up having to drink the entire thing of mustard, and I did so in front of 3/4th of the entire venue. It was an endless battle, between pride and gag reflexes (gag reflexes won). I downed about half way, tried to dilute it with water, drank a hair more, and projectile vomited everywhere! A few seconds later I received the “your up!” tap on the shoulder. I was mortified. While everyone was setting up, I tried my hardest to spew up every last bit that I could.

The entire time I was singing on stage, I swear, I threw up in my mouth just a little bit. I had the biggest fear that I was going to launch regurgitated mustard on the crowd, and we would lose a lot of fans. That was probably one of the most challenging shows to play in my entire life. A warning to take from me, never ever ever……drink mustard before a show.

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