In this Preshow Rituals segment, the indie rock band, Eastbound Buzz, reveals what they do before taking the stage. You can check out the story, after the break.
Jarryn (as told by Jethro):
Pray to the almighty Slim Dusty at his Hero Shrine for strength and endurance.
Have a Quick-Eze.
Go to his fancy dress box and pick out the rootenest tootenest cowboy outfit in the West.
Pop two more Quick-Eze.
As the singer, it is his job to ask the venue where to put the band’s gear.
Smash down forty beers before the set to ensure all prepared banter is forgotten.
Swallow three Quick-Eze whole just before the first song starts.
Mumble through lyrics.
Andy (as told by Louie):
Put on the fastest sneakers to maximize departure efficiency after the last song finishes.
Don’t check fly is up.
Tell roommates when and where the gig is to ensure a crowd.
Make sure to rent guitar and amp instead of buying your own.
Ask the bar staff the address, so you know where to place your Uber eats order.
Trip upwards onto the stage and begin playing the wrong song.
Jethro (as told by Jarryn):
Spend the day of the show gauging yourself on whatever bakery item is half-price at South Preston Wollies whilst simultaneously dehydrating yourself to avoid mid-show urination.
Self-diagnoses at least 5 medical conditions.
Listen to Mr. Bungle in an effort to determine how to successfully place a 3 minute slap bass solo into an Eastbound Buzz song.
Do not replace bass strings. Do not practice.
Buy a $200 pair of sneakers, leaving yourself with a $3 budget for food for the week.
Approx 1 hour before show ask Jarryn what venue the gig is at.
Spend 30 minutes looking into the mirror, deciding which choice of facial hair will best suit the evening.
Borrow Andy’s tuner to ensure low B string is in tune for the one low C note in Every 15
Louie (as told by Andy):
Arrive at soundcheck 15 minutes late. Bust out some of your favourite Benny Greb beats on the skins.
Head to the gym for a quick 2-hour pre-show workout. When you’re done pumping iron, wash off the sweat with a dip in the crystal clear waters of St Kilda Beach.
Make sure to eat a balanced meal before every set. My go-to is a homemade Nut Butter and Blueberry Curridge (a mix between curry and porridge that I invented – patent pending)
Iron your sleeveless turtleneck while staring at yourself in the mirror. God, how can someone be this good looking? It’s more of a curse than a blessing, really.
Leave home at least five minutes before your set starts… to be safe. Jump on your Harley and weave through the Punt Road footy traffic.
Arrive at the venue just in time to hear Jarryn plucking those opening notes of Secondhand on his banjo. Sprint through the crowd, effortlessly evading the clutches of your adoring fans, making it on stage just in time for your cue to come in.
Watch and learn, Neil Peart. This is how it’s done.