Future Feats – CRAZY TOUR STORIES

In this Crazy Tour Stories segment, the alternative band, Future Feats, talk about some of their crazy moments from touring. You can check out the feature, after the break.

So you want a crazy tour story from FUTURE FEATS, yeah? Alright, you asked for it. Here we go. So we’re on tour supporting The Wombats, and our first show with them was in Denver. We rolled up to Colorado a couple days before the show and Zach’s family was kind enough to provide us with a hotel room for a couple of nights. So we had one whole day off to explore the city and one whole night to drink and think up some sin-full shenanigans.

It was ALL ALYSSA’S IDEA. I should probably preface this entire paragraph with that fact. She had been highly recommended to attend an evening at The Diamond Cabaret, aka, The Best Strip Club in Denver, CO.

This was her very first time at a strip club ever, and she was fucking pumped. It was also Ben and Patrick’s first time as well. I’ll wait while everyone collectively says, “Awww,” together. Zach and his girl, Becca, were initially indifferent to the idea of going. It’s true, but they still went with us! And I was just stoked to tag along and play the part of “Tour Dad,” because, let’s face it, there was no way I was going to pass up the opportunity of seeing how this night would play out.

We all walked in, without cash, and immediately paid the insane strip club ATM surcharge in order to pull out a round of twenty dollar bills. We found a table, got some drinks and chilled the fuck out.

There were so many beautiful women at this place. It was, truly, a diamond-rated establishment. I chuckled to myself as Ben and Patrick did their best at “playing it cool” by placing a few one dollar bills out for each dancer that approached them. Alyssa didn’t give a shit though, she was wide-eyed and chatty, and it was awesome to watch her watch everything that was going on around her. Zach and Becca got a little too tipsy and bailed within a half hour of getting there, which was totally understandable. Everything was really great. This was a really fun band outing so far.

That’s when we saw her.

Well, Alyssa spotted her first. This girl was fucking fire. We all agreed that she was the equivalent of…if Halsey and Rihanna had a love-child, and then that love-child grew up and…became a stripper. I mean dancer. Look, she was dope as fuck and we all loved her and her personality. She didn’t really say that much to be completely honest, but you could tell she probably had a great personality. Where was I going with this?

OH! So then Alyssa leans in and basically tells me that she wants that girl’s breasts..in or around her face. I was like, yeah, me too. Then, Ben, Patrick and myself huddled together and decided that we had one mission for the remainder of the night: We were going to get Alyssa a private dance with this banger of a babe.

But we were all short on cash. Fuck.

Then Alyssa pulled out a hundred dollar bill and asked if that was enough. Hell yea that’s enough! My job was to basically do everything. I grabbed the hundred and waved Ri-Halsey over to our table. We all introduced ourselves, and I broke the ice by straight up asking if she would be interested in giving Alyssa a proper, private dance. She guided Alyssa to a back room and preceded to rock her world for approximately three and one half songs.

Still to this day, only Alyssa and The Hals-Anna of Denver knows what REALLY happened back there. But we just hope she loved it. Because we love Alyssa. And we love touring. And we love sharing our crazy tour stories with Digital Tour Bus. Thanks so much for listening!

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