Gomorrah – DREAM TOUR

In this Dream Tour segment, the metal band, Gomorrah, let you know who they would like on their ultimate tour lineups. You can check out the feature, after the break.

Ok, let us get this party started by just listing off the top of our head the idea for the tour: it would be a traveling festival, like Ozzfest (but with fewer sister-wives). Essentially, it would be a mixed bill, with ten acts: Miley Cyrus, Peaches, John Mayer, Atrous Leviathan, ourselves (Gomorrah), Rammstein, Behemoth, Coldplay, Mumford and Sons, and finally Emmure. Generally speaking, the order of the bands would have us and Atrous Leviathan somewhere in the middle, with Coldplay between us – because you never want to open or close the show, nobody stays around for that unless they’ve passed out in the venue. We would put Emmure last because obviously people would stay for that. They would follow up Rammstein, who would follow up Behemoth. Peaches and Miley would share the stage for their sets, playing their music simultaneously. And Mumford and John Mayer would totally open, set the mood right, you know?

Generally speaking then, the order of the bands would go:

Mumford and Sons
John Mayer
Gomorrah
Coldplay
Atrous Leviathan
Miley Cyrus/Peaches
Behemoth
Rammstein
Emmure

This would yield the best results any music festival has ever seen. The guys in Mumford would break the crowd in really nice, and John Mayer would totally be at the advantage following that up – being the more distinguished, seasoned veteran. Then we would get on the stage, and really turn it up. While people are being murdered in the pit, people are starting to leave – but we would only play a 20-minute set. Then Coldplay. Everybody would come rushing back, people would be regretting having just killed the people in the Gomorrah pit, and Coldplay would make it all better – Fix You. Hell, I’d be bawling my eyes out side-stage with the dudes from Atrous Leviathan.

Once Atrous gets on stage, the killing would begin again. But they again would only play for about 20-30 minutes before everybody ran away in fear of the onslaught they would guarantee bring night after night. And after they cleared the stage the real party would begin.

Peaches. Miley. Same stage. Same time. Generally speaking, this would be the most black metal summoning I could bring to the masses – the best interpretation of Hell on earth. I feel that this is necessary, but at the same time, I fear the realistic possibility of what could happen. Imagine how turned on the crowd would get from that. People would just start having an orgy in the crowd. Fucking each other on the dead bodies left over from the Gomorrah and Atrous Leviathan sets. Then Miley and Peaches would totally just say to hell with it, and start scissoring each other on the stage to the backing tracks to their music. Again, Hell on Earth.

Before their set could reach climax, Behemoth would drop from the skies to the stage. Absolutely fucking murking Peaches and Miley (don’t worry, I have a night by night solution for this event). The real Hell would break lose, the corpse paint, the stage presence – ooooo, ahhhhhh. Satan would rise, and drop Miley and Peaches souls back into their sweaty spent skinny-fat bodies. “No fucking way are you dropping these shit bitches on me, Nergal” Lucifer would utter – validating Behemoth’s set.

Rammstein would come to the stage, and continue the orgy in the most German BDSM way. Peaches with the strap on, Buck Dich would come on. Even Til would be up for that. Satan would come back up and take that party back with him down to Hell.

And topping off the night, Emmure would finish things off right – a 30-minute breakdown, and the vocalist would call the crowd losers and be pretty unoriginal night after night. But that’s okay, they’re headlining over me – I can’t shit talk that.

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