Gypsyhawk – 3rd ROAD BLOG from North American Tour with Alestorm

The metal band, Gypsyhawk, is currently on a North American tour supporting Alestorm and Trollfest. While they’re on this tour, the band will be writing an exclusive blog for us. You can check out the band’s third and final entry, after the break.

11/21 OFF

Guess what we did. We fucking drove. And didn’t sleep again. Booking agents sure can be real buttholes. Thank god for Ron’s sister and his parents house for a three hour window of shelter and cleaning. Moving on.

11/22 Chicago, IL

Made it barely on time for the show and then had to leave immediately after. Afterwards we went to Corey Metcalf’s house.  He and his wife supplied us with pizza and vodka.  Dani, from Alestorm, came over too and went tailgating at the next morning’s Notre Dame game.  This is also the night that the van lights went out and have been out ever since.

11/23 Detroit, MI

Detroit is fucking amazing. I love, love, love this city. Despite its failing economy and depressing aura, SO many great people have emerged from this city. It’s like the forging grounds for true souls.  The show was fucking incredible and we all got right fucked up afterwards. AND Uncle Kracker showed up to party hard with us. Not the dude, but Mike Adkins (guitar). This dude is super rad. And even better than that, we went to the best place on earth to party with him, Lorenzos basement. Lorenzo is a huge Deep Purple fan. HUGE. And his basement looks like something right out of Detroit Rock City (fitting). After staying up with the moon all night, we hit the bed (floor) at sunrise.

11/24 Cleveland, OH

Ugh. Cleveland. I WAS happy to be at the Agora vs. Peabodys. The Agora has a cool restaurant built into it with some tasty treats.  The show was outstanding.  Great sound and crowd.  Real cool small theater set up for touring bands.  As a civilian, i would love to see a show there.  We saw a mothership t shirt in the audience which always puts a warm glow in our wieners.  Our best friends Rachel and Jessica were kind enough to take us back to their warm home in Columbus, OH afterwards. Only AFTER stopping at Denny’s for a 3:00am Hobbit dinner. Don’t know what I’m talking about? Go to Denny’s, find out.

11/25 Columbus, OH

Alrosa Villa, murder site of Diamond Bag Darrell.  The speakers for the pa system were ridiculous huge.  Like two stacks of death on each side of the stage. After the show we went back to sleep in a house with a REAL bed. Ron and Art watched ghost busters.  THAT shit was tight. Van lights still don’t work.

11/26 Pittsburgh, PA

Smallest most humid stage ever. Awesome opening band called the Bloody Seamen. Afterwards we packed up and headed for the border to get back into Siberia, Canada. Fun. Fun. Fucking fun.

11/27 London, ON

So cold. Morgan Lander from sensational act, KITTIE, did make it out to the show and it was good to finally meet her. We got bumped down in the set because Warbringer was there. Pho saved me that night. Great club, but small audience that night.  Nothing else to report. After the show, guess what? We drove. You seeing a pattern yet? Me too. Fuck it.

11/28 Toronto, ON

YES! Respite! Our GREAT friends in DIEMONDS made this day a day to remember. C.C. and Daniel helped us out immensely by granting us shelter.  AMAZING show, crowd went apeshit.  We celebrated thanksgiving with our buds in Diemonds with a ton of stuff that I have been advised NOT to disclose, but it was a fucking amazing night.

11/29 Ottowa, ON

The band slept as Ron made our way down the 401 blasting cannibal corpse and lantern jack at 11 when out of the blue, our van broke down.  stranded on the side of the highway in freezing wilderness we called AAA and waited for the tow truck.  Now, in Canada there is nothing in between cities except for moose and empty molson bottles.  So the tow truck couldn’t find us.  After 40 phone calls we saw the tow truck on the other side of the highway.  He turned on his lights and had to turn around at the next exit which was half way across the province.  We had him take us to a gas station.  Turns out someone thought they filled the gas tank which we don’t have a working fuel gauge for…  Well they didn’t and we ran out of gas 177 miles into the journey.  Whoops.  We all beat the alleged offender with the backsides of our cocks and made it to the show. Next.

11/30 Montreal, QC

#1 show of the tour.  Club soda is a big theater located next to strip clubs and private massage parlors.  Ron was in heaven.  Sound was amazing.  There are some great shots from this show if you google it.  Bryant caught some footage of the crowd during commander of the high forest on his cell phone.  Pretty fucking rad, check it out on our page.   We went on stage and sang “woof woof woof” with our buds in Trollfest.  After that, our 1 star mobile hotel room was put to good use in succession.  Did I mention the women in Montreal are fucking beautiful?  Guess they need some way to warm that place up and they do it with young flesh.  Literally fucking amazing.

12/01  Quebec City, QC

Never been here before.  Got a nice cup of coffee before the show while Eric and Chris had a moment as they realized they were eskimo brothers.  Great sound and packed room.  Ian, Eric, Bryant and Art had an interesting conversation with a local girl who berated them, bought them beers, and made her boyfriend miss alestorm.  After the show we packed up and did an overnighter to NYC, that was until the cops pulled us over for our broken running lights.   They actually wanted us to call them and let them know when we fixed em.   The lights still aren’t fixed AND fuck the Canadian Police.

12/02  NYC, NY

All was good, made it through the border crossing, then 1 hour north of NYC, bamm!  Our back tire exploded severing the coolant line.  Called our good friends at AAA who we are on a first name basis with at this point.  Got towed to a douchey auto mechanic place and brainstormed on what to do.  Fortunately, there was an enterprise car rental across the street with a suburban with a tow hitch.  BTW, the metal gods were definitely helping us out cause NO car rental place ever has a car with a tow hitch…   So Ron drove us into NYC like a bat out of hell swerving in between buses and threatening to kill pedestrians.  Got to the show with no time to spare and killed it.  Place was packed the the crowd was rowdy.  After that, sex happened.

12/03 Teaneck, NJ

We made it back to douche mechanics inc and found out that they hadn’t even started fixing the tire and coolant.  They charged us an extra 100 bucks to “try” and fix the lights and never even got around to it.  Fuck it, we got a gig to play.  The room was a bit weird as it’s a combo restaurant/bar/concert venue.  Swashbuckle showed up and challenged us to a magic tournament which was held at a reserved table right at the front of stage during alestorm’s set.  Ron and Ian did and interview with Mark Strigle of Talking Metal and Ian actually spoke during it!  Onto Art’s brother’s farm in the middle of NJ.  Beds, showers, and laundry!

12/04 Baltimore, MD

“Hottest bartender of the whole tour bar none” said Ron and NO one else ever…   Show was amazing.  Super pro room with a great stage and pa.  We were a bit nervous as the opening local band put the audience to sleep,  but the crowd came to life once we took the stage.  This was probably our best show performance wise.  Onstage antics were taken to a whole new level during trollfest’s set as we all got onstage during woof woof woof armed with props such as a ladder, vacuum, broom, and an ipad streaming porn.  Super epic overnight journey to the ATL.  Ron drank 48 ounces of coffee during his shift and had to take 3 consecutive dumps at Mcdonalds the next morning.  A “dump” is a road term for “bowel movement”. Ron LOVES talking about his dumps.

12/05 Atlanta, GA

We made a quick pit stop at our favorite uncle’s house – Uncle Trev!  Home cooked burgers, laundry, and showers were taken advantage of.  Onto the masquerade.  Make sure you make sure you type in North avenue “NE” in the gps otherwise it’ll send you to a walmart somewhere in the suburbs.  Anyway, we made it.  Last show of the tour.  Trollfest came up with a huge plate of cocaine and foot long doobies during our set (fake unfortunately).  Their guitar player Morton was dressed as a dragon with wings.  Oh you silly Norwegians.  The best was yet to come.  During alestorm’s set the Norwegians decided we should all dress up in adult diapers and dance around resident man whore Elliot for their set.  I pray to the metal gods there are no photos of this.  Very disturbing.  Well, after that we all got blackout drunk and touched each other’s butts.  Trollfest and Alestorm had to split to fly back to some magic country that exists on the other side of the Atlantic ocean.  Meanwhile, we’re taking a day off in the ATL eating ribs and pork roast at Uncle T’s.  We’ve been very privileged to be on tour with Alestorm and Trollfest and we wish these guys the very best. Until next time, featherheads! Stay heavy, stay high!

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