Inside The Trojan Horse - CRAZY TOUR STORIES

In this Crazy Tour Stories segment, NoOne, from the hard rock band, Inside The Trojan Horse, shares one of their stories from being on the road. You can check out the story below:

It was the early days of touring with my former band, JIBE. We had just played a killer show at the Pomp Room in Sioux Falls, SD. During the show, a girl at the front of the stage, who danced quite provocatively to every song, disappeared for a few songs only to reemerge front and center as she handed me a crumpled, soaking-wet note. As I opened the heavy note, confetti poured out, along with the scent of perfume. I read the letter to the audience, and it detailed her X-rated bathroom adventure during our set. She smiled, giggled, and waved to everyone.

After the show, I was hanging out with one of the venue's staff as he was telling me about Aerosmith's killer show there the night before. He said they had the best acid and handed me a little black gel cap. I popped it in my mouth as we continued to talk. It was getting late, so I said my goodbyes and headed for the van and trailer.

As I approached the van, I noticed it was running, and the only open seat was the driver's chair, which was odd because it wasn't even close to my turn to drive. I looked around the rig, where everyone was playing possum in the back. At that moment, the acid started to kick in. I jumped in the driver's seat and let out a loud, sinister laugh, announcing, "This acid is kicking in—I guess I'm driving you possums tonight." No one said a peep as the record-setting snowfall rained down.

I drove through the night like a champ, never fully understanding how precarious the situation was. I passed dozens of cars and tractor-trailers, either abandoned or crashed on the side of the highway. At times, our trailer would be sliding sideways, almost next to us. Somehow, I pulled it off as I traveled down the two-lane state highway 81, heading toward our next stop in Wichita, KS. Everything seemed fine until I noticed a large sled pulled by reindeer heading in the direction to cross my path. I slammed on the brakes, jerking the wheel hard to the right, throwing the entire thirty-three-foot rig into the ditch, skidding to an aggressive and violent stop, narrowly missing what appeared to be Santa Claus. Everyone jumped up, screaming in sheer panic and terror. “Ahhhhhhhh! Is everything ok? Oh my God, are we dead?” I announced, "We're good now—we almost hit Santa's sled and reindeer, but I saved us, so we're ok now."

Everyone collected themselves as they nestled back into their respective places to slip into another deep slumber, knowing they were all safe and sound. “Really? Are you sure? Ok, I guess.” So, I saddled up and continued down 81 on my holiday trip.

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