In this Dream Tour segment, the psychedelic band, Moon Honey, let you know who they would like on their ultimate tour lineup. You can check out the feature, after the break.
Moon Honey Dream Tour: A Good Trip
by Jess Joy
First of all, we’d like to thank Tesla for manufacturing and sponsoring our custom VanJet for Moon Honey’s April tour of 2525, and of course express our delight to have driven the first model designed in collaboration with Peter Pan and Willy Wonka. Now that Tesla has harnessed flight power through Pan’s patented “Think Happy Thoughts” clean energy technology in tandem with Wonka’s top engineers’ construction of a melt-proof, biodegradable VanJet body, the Moon Honey tour has gone down in history as the first carbon footprint-free musical voyage to circle the Milky Way. By the time we returned to our home planet, we’d eaten our way through the entire fair-trade, 80% dark vegan schnozberry chocolate body to the glow-in-the-dark outer candy-coated shell. It was a zero-waste, completely delicious experience.
You may be wondering how such a small band managed to eat an entire VanJet, which was molded from a size accurate, historically correct model of the Great Pyramid at Giza. We had an enormous crew that spring. We should have guessed Lisa Frank would come with an entourage, but we didn’t take into account she would need three unicorns, two penguins and a Siberian tiger cub in order to get her house of mirrors rainbow carnival stage design set up every night. Our dancers, mainly Pina Bausch, did not take very kindly to the macro-glitter Lisa heaped on the stage like psychedelic snow. This was a miscommunication, as Lisa was not aware Pina’s choreography required the entire crew pictured on the album cover of Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band to cover each other in peanut butter and roll on the ground in self-induced vibrational fits. Marina Abramovic, however, was perfectly content, as she reported the practice of removing each individual speck of glitter from her hair at night and hot gluing them in mandalic patterns down her spine brought her closer and closer to understanding her performance piece: translating Moon Honey lyrics into the language of the stars and relaying them to each audience member telepathically.
Our guitar tech and lighting artist turned out to be the easiest going two of the bunch, even though Melania Trump knew absolutely nothing about guitar setup. She had a gift for giving incredible support to Andrew, though, so at least he always felt like his guitar was in tune. “There are no bad notes,” Melania confided. Yayoi Kusama did a spectacular job as lighting guru. The house of mirrors stage design turned out to be the perfect environment for Yayoi’s infinity fireflies she released in single file onto the stage each time Logan hit the bass drum. We began the set each night in the pitch black and ended with a blinding, incandescent, astral halo of encircling, swarming, dazzling robot fireflies above our heads. Bartenders appreciated not having to make the trip to turn on the lights to signal the bar closing in 5 minutes. Melania and Yayoi formed an unbreakable bond in between shows, meditatively decorating all furniture and appliances inside the VanJet with layers upon layers of candy dots.
Alejandro Jodorowsky had a fine time designing our costumes. Before dressing each night, he first anointed our band and performers in lavender oil and cinnamon spices as we sang shamanic songs he was taught from his mescaline-induced spirit animal in the Chihuahuan Desert (to warm up the throat and soul). My costume’s base was an angular papier-mâché cast with five feet spikes sticking up from my shoulders, covered with collaged pages from my Precious Moments bible I had kept from childhood. My cape was a train of seven hundred and seventy-seven white orchids and my crown was a perfect, compact cumulus cloud which Jodorowsky pulled down from the sky using an old spider web as a net. “Duende, duende, duende!” he shouted with our resident poet, Federico García Lorca, as we floated onto the eerily black stages to begin each show.
It is with great pride I speak of our sound engineer, The Little Mermaid, for she created a unique and precious amplification system consisting of a gigantic, invisible, rotating energy orb which vacuumed all sound from the stage into its belly and projected it out into every inch of the room, bathing the music in a warm nurturing echo resembling the feeling of sunshine on skin, or of a baby being cradled. It was Ariel’s desire to use the magnetic seashell voice collection technique Ursula had crafted for the power of good, so that a human’s voice and other instrumental sounds could be shared rather than stolen. This way everyone, including the band, was able to truly enjoy the music, and I danced unhindered by microphone stands or screeching feedback.
The tour was such an incredible experience that I do think we are a bit heartbroken to have landed back down in Los Angeles. One consolation, though, is that due to our stage rider requiring every venue to convert to a self-sustaining greenhouse terrarium, we know that the next time we hit the solar system the singing banana trees will be in full bloom and ready to join our holographic choir performing whale songs in 12 octaves simultaneously. Thank you so much for your physical or virtual attendance—only through your support we were able to pull off our highly ambitious dream tour.
Make sure you check out their show this Thursday, December 14th at Teragram Ballroom in Los Angeles, CA. Tickets available here.
(Photo credit: Kristin Cofer)