Neville – CRAZY TOUR STORIES

In this Crazy Tour Stories segment, the electro pop aritst, Neville, shares one of her stories from being on the road. You can check out the story, after the break.

I can’t say I was sober for this one. I’m not even remembering where this all happened. All I remember is that we were supposed to drive an all-nighter to the next city but the driver was way too tired and we stopped in the middle of nowhere somewhere in (I wanna say) England. Half of the crew pulled out some emergency tents and went to sleep while the other half popped some disgusting 12% beer we had found at a gas station.

It was pitch dark outside so we basically just partied on the bus until the sun started to rise. Around 5 am the sky started turning blue again and so we took the party outside. That’s when we realized we had parked right next to a pasture with like 20 sleeping cows. Of course, that’s when I get the brilliant idea to jump over the fence cause I wanna pat the damn cows.

Me and another guy jumped the fence and started walking toward the cows. Of course, this wakes them up and they all get very curious to know who walked into their home without knocking on the door. Now we had about 20 sleepy cows following us around but for every second they got more and more energetic. This is when I realise how huge cows are (growing up in the city didn’t teach me these kinds of things, you know). First, it was kinda fun having a bunch of cows following me around but after a while, they got kinda randy, and all of a sudden they were all standing on their hind legs and jumping on each other. This is when I freeze and I can see tomorrow’s newspaper flash before my eyes. “Vegan trampled to death by 20 horny cows”. Although it sounds like a fun way to go, I wasn’t quite ready for that and I also didn’t want to leave my mom with the burden of people laughing when she has to tell them how it went down. So I slowly turned around and started talking to the cows in my calmest voice (in Swedish for some reason). I told them to chill and stop jumping around like it was the last call in the club. And they actually listened. To me? In Swedish!? So I just kept talking to them in a soothing voice as I walked backward until we got to the fence. We jumped that fence like pros and ran away laughing.

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