No Trigger – CRAZY TOUR STORIES

In this Crazy Tour Stories segment, the punk rock band, No Trigger, talks about touring Europe and the food they eat while they’re there. You can check out the story, after the break.

Well, it’s back to Europe for my third time with the No Trigger boys. Off the bat, we’ve noticed what seems to be a slingshot effect in punk rock fans’ musical appetite. Having to wait to see the bands they love due to the whole “global pandemic thing” has made each show a bit more magical. From Germany to France, Switzerland, Belgium, and seemingly back to Germany a few dozen times, we’re spreading the good word of the Acid Lord EP and being a collective crusty Johnny Appleseed sprinkling hints of our new album, aptly titled, Dr. Album, across the mainland. But we would be remiss not to mention the true tour highlight: Mcdonald’s.

Sure, our guitarist changed strings for skate legend Steve Caballero, we awkwardly ate catering near Circle Jerks’ Keith Morris, had space cakes in the Netherlands, and played one of the best shows of our lives in a tiny town we’ve never heard of (hi, Chaulgnes, France), and rode electric scooters in a skatepark at midnight in Frankfurt while drinking comically large beers—but have you even seen the menu at European McDonalds? It’s unbelievable.

Now let’s start with the plant-based options. Depending on the country, you can get anything from vegan McNuggets and a wide array of burger variations to choose from to apple pie and exclusive smoothies. Then McCafe gives Starbucks a run for their money. The massive selection of pastries, cakes, and carb-filled feel-goodery—became a must-stop for our caffeine-addicted, smelly Sprinter van full of freaks. Then lastly, even the meat boys (we’ll go with this name) have options of fresher, better food in every way. All touch-screen ordering so our ignorant, English-speaking asses can’t screw up while ordering or cower in fear of cultural differences and American public school shame.

Although we believed Germany would take the proverbial cake as the McDonald’s leader in Europe, especially with the hilariously gross Chocoburger I ate (Nutella and peanut butter on two buns), we were astonished at the perfection of our golden arches adventure in The Netherlands. We’re talking everything from fried cheese pillows, spicy vegan chicken wraps, and mystery delicious concoctions—it was incredible?! The only hang-up we had, and maybe it’s not a big deal… was the food being served by what looked like a 12-year-old boy. Don’t get me wrong, he was very good at his job. But did we need to rescue him? Would he be better suited to be our fourth guitarist? Who knows?

Sorry, back to the boring music part. In summation, we’re having an incredible time. From massive festivals to intimate club shows, there’s something special about European punk rock fans. They still have the same passion after all these years, and are even passing the love of fast beats and swears to the younger generation. Everyone is extremely courteous, every show is a total blast, and the crew we have is a next-level bizarro comedy podcast on every 6-hour van ride. It’s the perfect introduction to the new era of No Trigger and we’re excited to visit your streaming ear holes soon with Dr. Album, out on Red Scare Industries later this month.

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