Nuke Pasta - CRAZY TOUR STORIES

In this Crazy Tour Stories segment, the pop/rock artist, Nuke Pasta, shares one of his crazy show stories. You can check out the story below:

Crazy? Rude? Questionable?? Yes. Yes. And definitely yes. This story takes place about 7 or 8 years ago in the beautiful city of Seattle, Washington. At the time I was in a band that was all set up to play a legendary venue, and we were extremely excited. The way this show operated was on a "pay-to-play" basis, which meant whoever sold the least amount of presale tickets played first. At the time, we all thought we were hot shit and that there was no way that we would be relegated to lowly "show openers." (Two things to note here: 1. We were not that good. 2. Most people there had never even heard of us). So obviously, we were flabbergasted when we arrived to claim our illustrious title of "2nd band on the bill" and were instead informed that we were the ones opening the show. How could this have happened? Who dared usurp our rightful place as 2nd??

Apparently the band that arrived at the venue just after us had sold the exact same number of tickets as my band. (SERIOUSLY?) Once they got wind of this, they decided to purchase an additional presale ticket with their own money to ensure that they would not be playing to an empty room. Conniving, right? Now, my band might not ever have found out about this little stunt of theirs, but of course they couldn't resist boasting about it as soon as they entered the green room. Enraged, my band members and I began to brainstorm ideas of how to get back at them. That's where things got real ugly real fast.

Our lead singer's friend, who just so happened to be sitting with us, was someone with a questionable past. We'll call him "Jim." Let's just say Jim wasn't afraid of getting in a little "trouble" to prove his point. In any case, he noticed that our rival band had left the green room to head down to the bar. Before any of us could get another word out, Jim had already jumped across the room and was now standing directly in front of their gear. Guitars, amps, pedalboards and drums all quivering in the presence of this madman. He started in on their amps first; tweaking knobs and obliterating any setting that had been carefully crafted. Next, he did the same but with each one of their fx pedals. Only then did Jim turn to the acoustic guitar case and prepare to do the unthinkable. As he popped open the final latch on the case, Jim's face lit up with an evil smile. He grabbed a pair of wire cutters and snipped all 6 strings off the guitar before removing any extra strings and any hope of recovery before their set.

Needless to say, we were all shocked at what had just gone down. However, at that point we only had a few minutes before we were scheduled to perform, so with a guilty conscience we grabbed our equipment and headed out to the stage to perform the most lackluster set of our lives. As if the crushing disappointment of playing a shitty set wasn't enough, when we returned to the green room, we were immediately confronted by the other band. Of course, Jim was conveniently nowhere to be found, so we had to accept responsibility for sabotaging their gear and ultimately let them use ours. I don't think I've ever been more embarrassed in my life. I never did see Jim again, but if I ever stumble across him someday, I have a five finger present ready and waiting just for him!

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