Pineo & Loeb – CRAZY TOUR STORIES

In this Crazy Tour Stories segment, the electronic duo, Pineo & Loeb, talk about some of their crazy moments from touring. You can check out the feature, after the break.

We had been on the road with another East Coast electronic duo and just played a show in one of the coldest cities we’d ever been in. We had no place to stay figured out for after the gig but one of the musicians we were with said he could get us a deal at “The most Rock N Roll hotel there is”. He told us stories of rock stars pushing it to the limit, devastating entire wings of the hotel, and biker gang orgies the size of which we could only imagine being homed there. Of course, we were curious and tagged along but we really had no idea what we were in for.

We showed up to the hotel around 4 in the morning, after some post-gig drinks and shawarma. We opened the front door and the first sign was not good. The rather large “hotel” was completely empty, save for a single, older lady who sat passed out in a reclining chair in the lobby, a quiet episode of Seinfeld echoing down the halls. Cautiously we rang the bell and the extremely annoyed “receptionist” climbed to the desk and debated us over prices. We managed to get two rooms for 50 bucks each in cash, the 4am door crasher deal I supposed.

The fun had only just begun of course. We were overjoyed when we found our two rooms, and every other room for that matter were connected and that we apparently had the whole hotel to ourselves. We kept drinking and playing music while jumping about and marveling at the hotel’s many foibles. Loeb pulled back the covers on his bed to find a large, wrangly clump or hair that we could only assume was of the pubic origin. He took out his phone to look up reviews of said hotel. A mortified look grew on his face when he saw that at least two other reviewers had encountered bizarre, unexplainable disgusting mounds of hair in their beds as well.

I, of course, was still having a blast, in my t-shirt and underwear, holding my laptop and playing a mix of old after party music while Stanley Kubrick’s The Shining played muted on my laptop. It and its’ haunted hotel being the first thing that came to mind when we entered this godforsaken place. I walked out into the hall and marveled at how every room in the wing was empty. Many of the rooms doors remained open with strange dark shapes filling many of them, none such as strange as what the room right next to us contained. As I made my way down the hall back to our room I looked inside the room next to ours and locked eyes with the devil himself. Inside the dark room, filled with at least 6 mattresses was a strange man in only a housecoat, on his knees with his ear pressed carefully to the wall that bordered this empty room and the room where my friends and I stayed. Pure terror washed over me. My brain raced to make sense of the situation, also pondering how I myself ended up running up and down the halls of this hotel in the wee hours of the morning, in my underwear, holding a laptop. Petrified we both stood until the strange man broke the silence.

“Looking for the WIFI password?”

“Yup!” I responded without hesitation.

The man stood up and walked out of the dark room into the hall where I stood and proceeded to type in a password on my computer. “Invalid Password” it read as he looked at me and said, “That work?”

“Yup!” I responded as I turned my back, walked into my room, climbed into bed (after checking for pubic hairs of course) and shuddered in bewildered fear. We’re still not exactly sure who the man was, and we have yet to return to find out.

May God help us.

-Pineo

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