The Venetia Fair – 3rd ROAD BLOG from their “The Moby Boner Tour”

The Venetia Fair is on their “The Moby Boner Tour” with Assemble the Skyline and Take Cover. While on the road they will be writing periodic blogs for us. The third one can be read after the break.

Hey you fucks! Mike here again informing you on our travels. Missoula, MT was fine. There was one slight issue which was the fact that the comedy club downstairs was getting more attention than our show upstairs and being that The Venetia Fair NEEDS attention at all times we obviously went downstairs and signed Chris up for a stand-up comedy bit. This would have surely led to a bar fight because he was in his usual state of being wasted and his sole strategy for his bit was to offend everyone including previous performances. For everyone’s sake the show ran too late, the PA broke and we made it out alive.

Seattle was the next night. It took us an hour to drive 2 blocks when entering the city. We fully participated in causing sweet gridlocks in the city of idiot drivers. This traffic gave us plenty of time to look at the space needle and talk about how it would be cool to hot box the entire thing and take it to space, or fall from space and have the needle go straight up our asses. (those were 2 of 50 stories) When entering the venue (El Corazon) there was a sweet stage with a band sound checking. We we’re all pretty excited until we were brought to our stage which was a 10×8 slab of wood hidden in the corner of the bar. The turn out was actually better than anticipated. I would have to say the highlight of the evening was after the show when getting ready to leave Joe and I stole Assemble the Skyline’s van, took it for a spin, and did a little something to it that no-one knows about yet. When returning they looked more scared, upset and pissed as opposed to thinking it was funny, but that was a more accomplishing reaction #wewin.

Portland…oooooh Portland, you are something else my friend. Well we played a 21+ venue that was booked two days prior with no local supporting acts. These nights get interested because instead of getting upset and handling it like adults everyone gets belligerent and ends up running around yelling/crying/laughing/breaking things, you really never know what you’re going to get, but I do have to say that the highlights of this evening were going to Voodoo Donut, and even more-so going to Blush the local strip club. You can’t even imagine how out of place myself, Benny, Chris, and Victor felt walking into this strip club? But God damn did we make the most of it. There was a $3 cover, one drink minumum ($3) tits EVERYWHERE, and $5 STEAKS. Like what the fuck? It was awesome, and what was even more awesome was that the sound guy found us online and played our songs through out the place while strippers danced to it…boner? yes. Also watching Chris attempt bargaining a lap dance down to $8 and failing was fully entertaining in itself.

Bend, Oregon…enough said (if you care and saw the live stream, then you got the idea)

Reno, NV. Hmmm where to begin. Well we can start with Reno HATES The Venetia Fair, but what else is new? So I think I can speak for all three bands when saying we all got really drunk and lost money gambling, but boy did we bond. “We spilled our guts on creaky bar stools”, three way kissed, stumbled around aimlessly in each maze of a casino we entered. Regardless, Assemble the Skyline, and Oden the Hippy (Take Cover) are still pussy faggots. As far as the show goes, well the show was really well attended, BUT being that we weren’t XXX-Earth-XXX-Crisis-XXX the fans took over the top offense to our spitting, screaming, cursing, drinking, and hand gestures. In fact, so much so that after the show there were 30 straight edge hardcore kids waiting to fight us….to be continued…

xo
-Mike / TVF