The Venetia Fair – 4th ROAD BLOG from their “The Moby Boner Tour”

The Venetia Fair is on their “The Moby Boner Tour” with Assemble the Skyline and Take Cover. While on tour they will be writing periodic blogs for us. The fourth and last one can be read after the break.

Well this is the last tour blog for the Moby Boner Tour.  By your favorite brown keyboardist, Joe.

Last we left you, we were in Reno, about to get beat up by tough kids.  We aren’t tough, and we don’t fight really.  Mostly because we know we will lose.  So to make a long story short, we left.  We got the fuck out of Reno and headed to our next show in Santa Rosa.

This show was pretty ok and stuff.  The other bands got more attention than us and that made us sad.  We need the attention.  WE need it.  Have you seen the way we act?  Thats because we NEED attention.  Regardless, the show went well.  It was fine.

We then played a show in an Indian restaurant in Sunnyvale.  The show was pretty awesome.  The promoter (who we love) hired a great lighting guy and he made the show awesome.  Fans were great, saw some old friends, and fun was had.  We blew the circuit breaker twice during the set, so we tried to blow it every song.  We failed.  We are failures.  We left the show and went to a burrito place that all the locals were raving about in San Jose.  I’ll just say it was a good burrito, but I would expect more from a city named SAN JOSE.

Our San Diego show was cancelled because sometimes promoters don’t really care the bands drove from MA to be there.  .I guess the bright side of the cancellation was that my girlfriends ex boyfriend didn’t get to try to fight me.  He’s very tough.  He should move to Reno.

So we went to LA.  Benjamin’s brother Nicholas lives in Whittier just outside of LA, so we stayed there.  Chark got his teeth knocked out that night.  I guess I’ll explain that.

Nick invited us to a party at a place called “rich white kids have rich parents so they can go to art school and still have money mansion house.”  We were all pretty excited.  We showed up, and immediately got bad looks because unbeknownst to us the attire was “tie, sweater vest, and pocket full of roofies.”  We learned the the party was full of Whittier College’s very own Division 3 lacrosse team (The Poets, seriously, the team is called the Poets,), complete with girlfriends who’s mothers bought the house, and all of their abortions.

Chark felt he wasn’t properly dressed for the party, so he disrobed, leaving only his pipe as his attire.  The reaction was a mixed one.  Some of the handsome gentlemen with baseball caps thought it was a good party joke, like most of us in the TVF world would, but others…. oh the others…

The others took offense that Chark has the confidence and a rather sizable flaccid penis to parade around the party and demanded that Chark put his clothes back on so they could feel more comfortable in their silly Christmas hats that were only there to show their girlfriends that jocks too, can have a goofy time.

Chark, sensing that the party was about to turn nasty, put his clothes back on, and proceeded to mingle.  No problems.  That is until the star lacrosse player of the poets, yes I’m sure you all know his name, Andrew Swett, decided to take a diving leap at Chark (I’m sure he learned this at his intense LAX practices bro) and blindsided Chark and knocked his teeth through his bottom lip.  Chark proceeded to laugh at him with a bloody mouth and we were able to get him out of the party.

Chris had no idea any of this was happening because he had already been kicked out of the party twice for trying to jump off the roof into the pool.  The pool was paid for by the lawsuit of the girls fathers suing Girls Gone Wild for that one night that they all want to forget.

I won’t get into too much detail, but the night ended in the ER.  Our fearless merch guy Victor was pretty banged up, and Chris’s nose was in bad shape, oh and Charks teeth, but all was well and we had a good time.

Go Poets.  Congratulations on your championship.

Last show of the tour was at Chain Reaction in Anaheim.  I suppose anything I say about this show doesn’t really matter because of what happened in LA, but whatever.  It was good. Thats enough.  We miss Assemble The Skyline, (not their pussy manager Adam, the other one Eric was cool though ) and Take Cover.  Blah Blah blah…

We had a couple days to hang in LA.  Stuff happened.  Chris and I did some hanging out in Hollywood with celebrities, and old friends, and everyone else apparently got drunk and hung out with the Whittier LAX team.

We left LA, but not before our van window was smashed and Chris and mine iPods were stolen.

Go Poets.

End of the tour.  Whatever.  Bye.

Now we are driving 37 hours in 2 days because we are stupid and are playing some shows that might be fine.  We’ll see.  At least we get to hear Victorian Halls dance beats again…