Tors – TOUR TIPS

In this Tour Tips segment, the indie rock band, Tors, recommends advice for being a musician on the road. You can check out the tips, after the break.

Having just finished our 4th tour this year we thought we might share a few handy lil tips on how to survive ‘Ol’ Mamma Road’ (Don’t call her that to her face, she’s very self-conscious)

1. NOISE CANCELLING HEADPHONES – After the first 40 minutes in a van with your best friends in the world you’ll quickly realize you hate them more than words could possibly describe. You would give your entire kingdom to blank out their constant talking and singing and replace it with other people talking and singing – this is why headphones are an absolute must. You can sit back, wash out the harsh reality of the outside world and the people you’ve chosen to follow your dreams with and become a beautiful, inspiring recluse – everyone’s favourite!

2. BRING YOUR OWN PILLOW – You’re telling us you’d like to sleep on some hotel/air-BnB approved wedge of fabric and sadness? The same pillow countless other greasy little homo-sapiens have dribbled/regretted their life choices on? You sicko! Don’t sell yourself so short, you deserve better – so why not bring a little slice of home with you and rest safe in the knowledge you’re not basically sleeping on another stranger’s face? You’re welcome.

3. STAY HYDRATED – This may sound like an obvious one but when you’re suddenly 2 hours from any kind of service station and you’re sat in the midday heat of your air condition-less van/coffin; drying out like a chalky starfish on the back of an also dying beached whale – then you’ll be thankful you heeded this advice. Our top tip is to swipe every available liquid from your dressing room and stock the van like a tightly packed New York Subway bodega.

4. A CIVIL WAR ERA LOCKET NECKLACE WITH A PHOTO OF AINSLEY HARRIOTT INSIDE – This may seem equally obvious but consider the following scenario –

You awake, bleary-eyed in a cold sweat from a fever-dream-nap you’d slipped into on the road, one-shoulder pressed tight against the window, the other weighed down by your sleep-apnea prone bandmate. You tilt his head gently forward so he can breathe again and gaze out into the inky blackness. Cars and trucks pass you by like remnants of a dying star, shooting off into the infinite void we call ‘the road’. You don’t know what time it is, all you know is that it’s passing you by at breakneck speed and standing completely still all at once. You begin to mull over the decisions that led you to this point, to the shell of a husk of a whispered regret on a crisp winters day that you have become, dissipating into the breeze like you were never there, to begin with. Maybe you feel like giving up? Cashing your overdrawn cheque and clocking out of the beautiful business we call show? But no, instead you put your hand to your chest and feel the familiar, cold pinch of steel against your neck. You bring your locket to your face and carefully open it and there he is, Ainsley: your light, your flame, your only friend on this cold, endless voyage. On the right-hand side of the locket, he sits, glaring lovingly to his left at a photo of a stuffed pepper he can’t wait to tuck into. That’s when you remember what you’re doing this for, what it was really about when you started out all those years ago in your stepdad’s petrol-tinted garage. You smile, safe in the knowledge that everything will be okay in the end, as long as you’ve got Ainsley.

And thus concludes our tour tips! We hope you’ve enjoyed reading them and that you can gleam at least some semblance of sense/hope from them. x

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