In this Crazy Tour Stories segment, the country pop duo, Towne, talks about some of their crazy moments from touring. You can check out the feature, after the break.
Sex, drugs, and rock n’ roll: When it comes to crazy ass tour stories, those 3 components seem to make the magic behind the nights we can’t remember, yet, somehow can’t forget. Everybody that’s ever been in a band on the road seems to have a handful of stories of how they’ve; trashed dressing rooms, set a venue on fire on accident/on purpose, slept with the bass player’s boyfriend/girlfriend (I mean, who hasn’t?), etc…So, with that said, we’re going to tell a different kind of “crazy tour story”. See, we tour in a van/crash on a lot of couches, and when it comes to “crazy tour stories”, crashing on couches makes for a few of those and there’s one particular couch in South Florida that we’ll never forget….
The story starts with us having initial hesitations about going to south Florida, to begin with until our former manager said to us,
“You guys can save money and stay with my friend, my BEST FRIEND, while you’re there!! He’s got a classic black Cadillac convertible and RUNS THE F’N TOWN! He lives like a king and I bet he’s got a baller-ass pad!” followed by a quote neither of us will ever forget, “You’re going to want to take your families there on vacation after you stay with him!”. So, with this in mind and, due to the fact that we never like to turn down any gig ever, we agreed to go. Fast forward 22 hours in the van later and we’re pulling up to our former manager’s friends house to see the least “baller-ass” thing imaginable: a mountain of trash piled high at the end of a cul-de-sac, 2 broken down boats, 1 broken down RV, 2 cars on blocks and, OF COURSE, 1 classic black Cadillac convertible. (not judging, just saying’)… Ladies and gentlemen, there’s never been a more accurate, “sign of things to come”, in the history of, “signs of things to come”.
To make a long…very long, story short: As the next day and a half unfolded, we began to feel like we were dropped off in the middle of an incredible movie that included a zany cast of characters including, but not limited to:
1.) Our former manager’s friend: Complete stranger, who, on the night we arrived, texted Steevie, “you can sleep in my bed. I’m a good snuggler.” Who, we also later found out, was fired from the school system for sexual harassment and spent a considerable amount of time in prison.
2.) Our former manager’s friends elderly mother: who immediately let us know that our presence was not welcome and prohibited us from using her; bathroom, shower, or refrigerator. Who also, after an argument with her son as we sat on the couch, we were informed, “has nowhere else to go because no one wants her.” (Sidenote: We won her over by the end of our stay and were eventually permitted to shower in her bathroom because there was a girl passed out in her son’s bed and his bathroom door was ripped off of the hinges—were told, “it’s a long story”)
3.) Stripper roommate with a heart of gold: made us coffee and was seriously just the best.
4.) Turtle in an aquarium with no perch: the turtle’s life was literally spent perpetually swimming for its life… (all-time sad memory)
Stopping here because we could go on forever and, honestly, the turtle all by itself is crazy enough for a crazy story, in our opinion.
In closing, I need to start by saying that we are forever indebted to every person that has ever invited us into their home and given us a soft place to lay our heads. We’re not telling this story to run down anyone or anyone’s way of life. Truth be told, we go into every situation with no expectations and 99.99% of people we stay with are absolute saints that restore our faith in humanity and whose generosity leaves us practically, and sometimes literally, in tears. We only share this story because we’ve each spent the majority of our adult lives playing music on the road and have seen and lived nearly every “crazy tour story” there is to read, talk, or write about. This DAY AND A HALF raised the “crazy bar”, blew it to smithereens, and had us dreaming the good old days when; sex, drugs, and rock and roll were crazy. Way back when times were simpler, turtles roamed free, and when people didn’t want you staying at their place they just said, “no”.
Anyway, that was some crazy shit.
-peace, love, and classic black Cadillacs,