The Venetia Fair – 2nd ROAD BLOG from “The Barf Art Tour”

We’ve teamed up with the awesome guys in The Venetia Fair for an exclusive Road Blog from their current tour with Survive This! called “The Barf Art Tour.” You can check out their second update, including pictures, after the break.

“Hey y’all, Mr. Chark here. Our last tour blog ended when we were on our way to Boise, ID. The funny thing is that we made it there. The venue had $1 mimosas so we drank a lot of those and then couldn’t play. Our boy, Derek Wetenkamp, drove about 6 hours to see us, even though he had already seen us the night before. What an idiot.

Our next show was in Seattle but before we could get there, we had to repair our van. I know- classic! You see, a few of us got really drunk the night before and took apart our engine. So when we woke up, we found everything scattered and a bunch of empty Clique Vodka bottles stuffed into the engine bay. We dealt with that issue and made it to the venue, El Corazon, in time to play a great rock and roll concert.

The next show in Portland was cool. We played rock and roll there as well. Then we went to our favorite strip club in the world because you can get $5 steaks there. And there are boobs. But mostly we go because of the steak. We even convinced a vegetarian friend of ours to eat one because we’re very good at peer pressure.

Then we made our way down the coast of California, stopping frequently to party. We stayed on a beach the first night and watched scary movies in the van with each other. It was very romantic. We found a Walmart that sells bottles of wine for $1.97 so we bought a lot of those and drank a lot of wine. That wine has an even lower PPB* than a handle of plastic-bottle Black Velvet whisky!

Chris didn’t listen to us when we kicked him out of the band. Instead, he just kept stealing dollar bills from the band to feed his hard-boiled egg addiction. It’s getting pretty out of hand at this point.

We finally made it to San Francisco, which was great because we found a lot of weirdos to hang out with. We did a radio interview with a bunch of weirdos, then sat on Mission St in our chairs and drank cheap wine until we all passed out. That was last night. We’ve spent the entirety of this morning trying to figure out how to use the term “hair of the dog”.

*PPB is a unit of measurement, invented by The Venetia Fair, which stands for “Price Per Booze”. It is defined as the unit cost of an alcoholic beverage, multiplied by the alcohol content (in decimal form), divided by the volume of beverage (in fluid ounces). For instance, if you purchase a handle of whisky for $16.97, the math would be as follows: $16.97 x .40% alcohol by volume / 59 fl. oz = .72 PPB. It’s a good way to find out how much you’re paying to get drunk!”

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