The Vernons – TOUR TIPS

This set of Tour Tips was written by Australian blues/rock band, The Vernons. You can check out their tips for being on the road, after the break.

5.  Sunglasses
Preferably reflective lenses. You may think sunglasses are an item only required in areas with high levels of UV rays and sandy, polluted and pasty white tourist filled beaches. However, when on tour, they are a vital element. They cater to a myriad of necessary rock n roll survival tips. For example, they shield your unsavory, blood shot eyes from the cafe wait staff looking forward to making fun of you whilst banging the coffee cups and plates really loud. However, their best and most important touring attribute is to make spying on the opposite sex discreet and tasteful.

4.  Road Trip Playlist
No, you cannot just put ‘Radar Love’ into iTunes and hit “genius”. A road trip playlist must have time and care put into it to customize the tour experience. The last thing you need is to arrive at a gig weeping like a small child, lollypop-less and alone whilst the Bon Iver Skinny Love Ghost of relationship’s past takes you to a dark, Canadian lumberjack pit of despair.

3.  Pranks
Note: Pranks are a very dangerous tool. Be very wary. As a easily as a prank can make the top 10 highlight reel of the tour, it can just as easily tear at the fabric of the sensitive being that is a band’s psyche. Know who you’re pranking, and prank accordingly. Also, fun pranking team names like ‘Prank Ocean’ can lighten the mood while driving past all bathroom stops on the freeway until the member being pranked can either a) hold it in or b) pay to steam clean the rented van.

2.  Transport
The type of transport is essential. It must be low cost, have high street cred’ and always, ALWAYS, be just reliable enough to get you to the gig fashionably late. A full tank of gas is conforming; a car with no gas is awesome but not practical. A vehicle powered by dogs like a sled, impossible (unless gigging in Alaska which would refer to above, awesome but not practical).

1.  Knowledge
Number 1 is unfortunately the most boring yet most essential. Know where the heck you’re going! Sound check, no matter how professional you are, is important and it is very hard to get it done when you are a state away in a barn, held hostage for trespassing on Old Farmer Phil’s pig farm with your bass player half naked, held at gun point, succumbing to a shotgun wedding to Phil’s toothless daughter Phillis (it may seem far fetched, but I wouldn’t doubt it’s possibility…) Know your venues, respect your fans, give them their monies worth, write yourself off and go again!

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