You (UK) – CRAZY TOUR STORIES

In this Crazy Tour Stories segment, the rock band, You (UK), talk about some of their crazy moments from touring. You can check out the feature, after the break.

On our last European tour, we played a city called Ludwigsburg, at a place called Rock n’ Roll Bar. The winter had really come in, with temperatures hitting a cock-inverting -20C and the promoter told us “the weather has fucked the electricity in the band flat. I’m trying to find another place for you to stay”. He spent half an hour or so calling around his friends trying to find someone who would put us up for the night and one of his female friends said she’d put us up at her place and to bring a case of beer. Result! We walked into her house to discover in the living room, a mannequin wearing the biggest strap-on we’ve ever seen! She asked, “who wants to be my slave?” Lenny’s hand quickly shot up. She promptly slapped him about and twisted his balls so hard he couldn’t walk properly for a couple of days. She then forced him to insert a remote-controlled anal stimulator into his backside whilst simultaneously hurling a barrage of insults at him. As the night progressed things got more and more crazy and ridiculous. Needless to say we got it all on film, so that should make for an entertaining tour video! Here’s a meme we made…

A few weeks ago we were on the way home from France and we were heading towards a toll booth just outside Paris. On our approach, we noticed 5 black cars that were absolutely bombing it down the road. I mean these things were seriously hauling ass! We pulled up at our booth to see one of these cars slam into a civilian car and all 5 cars boxed this guy in. In seconds the area was covered by a team of balaclava’d men with assault rifles who dragged two eastern looking men out of the car, and they beat the living shit out of them. We drove past to see one of the men in a kind of slump on the ground, on his knees strangely but completely unconscious, his face covered in blood. Pretty horrific. We still don’t know who the men were or what they had done (or at least were suspected of) but the French did not fuck around. Scary.

Another time, we were driving on the motorway towards Cardiff, and a car pulled across two lanes and crashed into the side of our ex-police riot van. We got out to see if the driver was ok. He got out of his car with a neck brace on. We asked if he was ok and he said, “No, I’ve broken my neck!”

We said “you got that brace on fast!” and he told us he had been in another car crash the week before. Looking at his wife (also wearing a neck brace) we asked “is she ok?”, to which he replied, “no, she’s broken her neck too”. We asked “in the accident?”, and he said, “no, she fell out of a window!” What a bizarre situation. Anyway, we took his insurance details and his name was Vincent Price!

June
23 – Th Arches, Coventry, UK
28 – Nambucca, London, UK
29 – The Hairy Dog, Derby, UK (supporting Kirk Brandon’s Theatre of Hate)
30 – Jahninsel Fest, Regensburg, DE

August
10 – Art & Ink Circus Tattoo Expo, Bürs, AU
31 – The Crew, Nuneaton, UK

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