Ionia – CRAZY TOUR STORIES

This crazy story from the road was written by the rock band, Ionia. You can check out the band’s story, after the break.

One night on the outskirts of even the most rural town somewhere between the never endng mesas and cotton fields of Texas, a bus, black as night, cruised down a deserted highway lit only by headlights and the stars of the multiverse.

Most of us dozing, in our bunks. The few who remained awake, deep in thoughts of our east coast homeland as we swayed to the soothing sounds of James blake, the Beatles, and La Dispute. Completely unaware of what was awaiting us only a few more miles up the serene motorway.

A beast, perhaps she was through with life? Perhaps she had seen such beauty in the world with her sad eyes that she had no reason to go on? Perhaps there was such violence and pain in the world that, even the happiest of endings inevitably ends with someone all alone to die? Perhaps all the and suffering that humankind had been churning out its assembly line speed of factory farm and war ridden country side with no regard for any living creatures on the planet had just gotten to her and she decided to take some of us out with her, to go out kamikaze style.

The beast was a doe, a deer, a female deer.

From out of nowhere she came running towards our bus, when Ome, (our guitar player and deer murderer) attempted to slow and swerve just slightly into the other lane the deer corrected its trajectory to make contact with the center of the sprinter, destroying our radiator, shattering out headlights, caving in our front end.

OME did what he could and slowed to a stand still as to mind not slamming on the breaks and jackknifing with the trailer of gear we hauled. We ripped open the sliding door and assessed the damage to our precious house on wheels and realized we were not going anywhere anytime soon. I told everyone to get back inside and called the cops and AAA. I plopped myself down amongst the low bush cotton field and lit a smoke, feeling defeated but grateful to be alive.

In that moment I heard a moan, it sounded like a person in pain. I jumped to my feet trying to quiet my heavy panicked breathing.
I walked back down the highway towards the sound, towards the scene of the crime. Like walking into a past nightmare, terrified of what I might find.

Realizing the deer was not dead, but in pain, and lying in the center of the highway there was only one thing to do. I returned to the bus and grabbed a large knife we used for cutting up tofu hotdogs or making veggies stir fry’s with. Ome, still rattled stared into my eyes with dread and guilt. He knew what was coming. Armed. I exited once again.

As I approached her for the second time I knew what I had to do to. She was going to be hit again so O dragged her off the road by her legs and onto the dry grass. Her breathing becoming more and more shallow. I place my hands on her neck and chest and prepared myself for what I must do.

As I held the knife up to where I would imagine her main artery would be, I whispered, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, over and over again, like a mantra, like it would change anything.

I’m sorry for being a bastard human, for putting a road right where you lived, for all the hurt we cause and keep on causing to everything, to one another. To the planet. I’m sorry you just made me late for my goddamn gig!

Thanks a lot now we are stuck out here cause you get confused when you see bright lights!!?? What the fuck is wrong with the evolutionary chain?? This majestic creature gets confused if there is anything shiny near her?? What kinda sick joke is that?

Well….

I guess I’m sorry for bright lights and big city’s.

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