Logan Mize – CRAZY TOUR STORIES

This crazy story from the road was written by the country music artist, Logan Mize. You can check out his story, after the break.

Touring itself is one big prank. Here’s one for example that got me once: I sold my Ford van as it was approaching the 200k mile mark because I was ready for an upgrade. We had a big spring tour approaching and I thought it would be great if we had a bit more room and could save some fuel with a Sprinter. I couldn’t afford the top of the line Mercedes, so I sprung for the used airport shuttle type with plans of converting the interior eventually. Of course, I bought it with no warranty because that’s what you do when you’re way too cool to worry about mindless details. I play guitar and makeup songs…warranties are for punks. Plus, it only had 100k miles on it, so could it really be that bad?

I picked it up in Dallas, TX then headed for Nashville to pick up the band and completely ran out of oil 3 hours later in a remote area of Arkansas in the most badass thunderstorm of the past millennium. Of course, my phone was dead so off I went skipping to my lou down I-30 getting pelted in the face with torrential rain while dodging lightning bolts and hydroplaning tractor trailers. Eventually, I came across this real dandy place called “America’s best place to get herpes from the bed sheets” and they let me use their wall outlet to charge my phone and call a wrecker.

After getting towed to a mechanic shop that opened the next morning, I decided to call it a day and figure it all out after a nights sleep….in the back of the sprinter of course. Not that I have anything against bed bugs or venereal disease residue smeared into my bed sheets – it’s just that my sprinter was sitting in the parking lot of the mechanic’s shop which would be a little cheaper and more convenient. Turns out it was much safer as well. So safe in fact that after I drifted into a peaceful dream about subtly sling blading some folks at a certain Dallas dealership, I woke up to not one….not two…but four patrol cars surrounding the sprinter and officers forcing me out of the vehicle to explain to them who I was and why I was sleeping in a Dodge Sprinter in Arkadelphia, Arkansas. I started looking around for Ashton Kutcher to pop out of a trailer somewhere and tell me this was a new version of Punk’d where they go around pranking bands that no one really knows or cares about.

We did the seven-week tour in rental vehicles. Five of which, all broke down. We were stuck on the side of the road almost every week of the tour just looking around for the camera crew to come walking out. We got really good at finding U-haul trucks after operating hours. Then we did the rest of the year in rental vehicles….because $18,000.00 is what it costs for repairs when you buy a Dodge Sprinter without a warranty! That’s just one good tour prank that came to mind. There’s another one that involves being stuck in a station wagon with five dudes for an entire day while two of them are puking out the window.

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